I'm talking about the progressed chart with my Moon in Capricorn trudging along in the 10th house, while transitting Pluto (which we all know is a royal pain in the a-hat) is transitting Cap as well on the outside world. I refuse to believe these two don't talk, even if the progressed chart is what's happening on the inside of my brain and feelings. Poor girl. She has had a LOT to deal with the past half year while Pluto was on her like a bee in your stockings. Ouch!
She started squaring my natal moon at 13 degrees early June 2017 and around that time she was also conjunct my natal Mars. Damn! Hot combo. It really *did* feel like a hot mess around this time...
The Moon looks behind her in fear. Fuck. He is right there. Never letting her out of his sight, getting closer, closer, closer... She can feel his breath in her neck, like a really annoying stray dog, and he has the audacity to LAUGH when he meets her eyes. The audacity!
- What's the matter, Moon, aren't you happy to see me? I thought you liked all that seriusness and deep stuff coming off ya these days!
- Go away, she mumbles and shakes her head. -As if life's not already heavy enough with responsibilities and I know not what, Pluto. Go play with someone else, why does it have to be me you're taunting? I don't have anything to do with the real world anyway.
Pluto smiles amicably and the Moon knows she is screwed. Pluto only does it before he delivers a hit to the core that robs you of every bluidy thing you hold dear.
- You're no fun, she sulks. -Why don't you go and piss off a CEO or boss instead of me? I am up to my own neck in trying to fight with half of my heritage and bring it out in the open, and at the same time that shitty Mars is blowing cold mud rocks into my head from his position at the natal chart. Can't you see I am in enough shit already? Don't you know it matters to me how my home works, and that I'm already fighting with my own self with that square to the natal Moon in the 8th house? Why also you now?
Pluto just smiles. Lie. Pluto doesn't smile. He is too cunning for that, that power hungry mongrel, the Moon thinks. She shudders by the thought of what he can think of doing to her, Venus and the other planets in the chart.
-Can I not teach you how to be self reliant and emotional mature by shaking you up a little? He says with a glint in those deep Pluto eyes. Again, the Mooon shudders. Who knows what lies in those and what morbid things he has seen throughout this lifetime of incarnation.
-I am doing that all by own, alone, these days myself so thank you very much, but no thanks, she says and sighs. This 10th house business stuff in Capricorn is heavy enough as is, but dealing with your own shit from childhood at the same time, while everyone is watching is even more embarrassing she sighs inwardly and looks down at her big girl pants. There are some holes in the fabric, from where she has taken a hit the past months... She is so tired of the drag, but keeps on. Because Capricorn never give up, they keep on marching on, trying to do the right thing even if there are none to be done.
-Why won't you lend some of my psychological strenght to get it done? Pluto suggests and the Moon turns around to look at him. He looks so innocent, but part of her is afraid, because she knows what havoc Pluto can play in your life because of his power hungriness and part of her is tempted because she knows she could gain so much more with him backing her up from the outside.-Don't say you're not considering it, Pluto says and shoots her a sardonic glint of his eyes. -You and me both know that the conflicts inside you have to contend with these days are not child's play...
The Moon looks up at Pluto and says in a small voice: -I don't know how, I don't know if I want to - and I don't know HOW its done - how can I borrow from someone who isn't the giving type but just hunts the take-down of power and psychological control freaks and not my best and most sincere offers? What do I have to gain from doing that you say, Pluto?
Pluto offers her a secret smile and looks at her with his hypnotic eyes. Even in a cold-blooded sign as Cap he can look like a sinner with a virgin heart.
-That, my dear, is totally why I'm offering it to you. It's so that you can build your own power up from the inside and out, and gain access to your soul's true nature by aligning your true purpose with your heart's power and bring it out into the open to build your standing in life, my dear. Isn't that obvious that in order for you to gain such wisdom you must give up your struggle to survice and become the survivor? How to better harness that energy than to feel your heart true purpose?
The Moon closes her eyes and when she opens then she says: -But I'm almost at the weakest right now - everything is squaring up against me in a double whammy of Mars-Moon and the other planets are here as well.
-On the contrary, you have never had so much backup to find your soul purpose in life - where you shine, my dear Moon, Pluto says and points at the other deities in Capricorn. Saturn is far away but closing in, thanks to his ingress into the early Cap degrees and the MC is hoovering outside of the natal 12th house.
-What you seek is not a power you can find inside of yourself alone, Pluto says. -It will need time and matureness to fully bloom and be used for the optimal reasons. None of that is possible without emotional maturity, but you need to take your own power and decide what you wanna build with it, to get into the game so as to years down the road you can look back and see where your focus were.
The Moon slowly says: -And, since you're such an expert of what I want and don't want... then what do you think I focous on, Pluto?
Pluto winks at her. Winks! He says nothing and smiles again. -Really, my dear moon, can't you see it yourself? I did think it became really clear as you moved into a neighbourhood with gang fightings, shooting episodes and conflict. Look at yourself, dear girl! That's what you hide from inside of you, preferring to gloss things over, down in the 8th house Libra stuff... To pretend there are no ugly or rough edges to people but most of all - what you yourself contain. True power comes to those that turns their black holes into shining stars!
His passionate speech renders the Moon speechless for a moment. She feels compelled to follow his words - yet, at the same time, she fears to open herself up again and feel the deepest scars her mother added to her heart.
-Feel it, Pluto breathes, and she looks at him, scared to her bones.
-I can't, she whimpers and close herself down, the pain being too much to bear with all the other things happening around her and the struggle with her own natal self. -What if I am destroyed in myself? I don't want to be left off, bitter, bleeding and worst of all... alone! Why are you doing this to me, Pluto!
-Because I want you to GROW, lady! Without growth we are just imbeciles, trying to escape our deepest wounds which we are sat into this world to solve and dissolve and heal from. Look at yourself - you are running from your own wounds, always has been, if Mars had not kept you in check in a forever battle and square! Don't you want to make peace with your Mars?
The Moon nods. That damned Mars. She is so so tired of that stiffnecked cockyball.
-Alright, she agrees. -I will take your word for it, and not be afraid of failing or loosing myself and my soul. Maybe it will at least give me some insights I can use to move forward so not to be too afraid later in life.
-Not only insights, Pluto mesmerizes. -God's only power ... wisdom and heart strenght, after you've been in the bowls of your own personal Hell for the entire year, Moon. Don't you want to get free of it in the end, to NOT feel this pain in your gut all the time?
The Moon sighs and nods. -Alright, Pluto. I admit I will achieve what I have not already done: Enough maturity to look at my demons and own them with my whole heart. Nothing less and nothing more. Deal?
-Sweet, my dear girl, Pluto says and put on his sunglasses. -Now, I must get to the club soon. Have fun, little Moon!
And *poof* - the threatening planet of sin and evil purpose is gone before the Moon can say anything else.
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